So I have a new laptop now, and it has Windows Vista on it.
Oh yes, everyone’s favorite problem child. I like that Windows decided to release a Mac clone but include with it all the inherent problems that come with being both Microsoft and the open platform. I say this knowing that the more open platform is Linux. Don’t get me wrong, I love Ubuntu. It’s like a “choose your own adventure” in OS form, and once you’ve gained enough code proficiency/know enough about what you’re doing to actually craft Linux into submission, it’s a beautiful lightweight operating system with only the features you care about. This is why I can’t get behind Mac OS: almost everything included is a waste of my time. But this is also my personal user style. I like customization and streamlined functionality. Mac is supposed to be pretty and unbreakable (which is a myth that shatters the moment you get a kernel panic of any kind. Trust me, I work IT, you can’t fool me by claiming that Macs are invulnerable. They crash harder core than most Windows when they finally go tits up [as the Brits say] and require reinstalling the operating system in a lot of cases).
Back in Windows Vista land, I have come to terms with the OS and really, it’s not bad. I’m presently using a 64-bit Vista Home Premium, which is different than my 32-bit Business I was running on my tower once. Different functionality. It’s weird that the different OS versions are like this; with XP, you had Windows XP Idiot edition, and windows XP for big boys (Home and Professional respectively) where home was basically pro only more slimmed down and missing some media center things that could be reinstalled anyway with an hour of your time. With Vista, Home Premium is a media center monster, whereas Business knew its way around network workgroups and all the rest of that. Then there’s Ultimate which boxes everything together. At last, someone got the idea at least mostly right that different versions should be DIFFERENT instead of skeletal varations on the ultimate product. When I heard about the XBOX 360 bs, I figured that the real reason was to dupe retailers out of another SKU slot [oh yes, so retailers have this thing called an SKU, it's a number that identifies a product, and some whimsical math major once figured out the optimal number of SKUs to make a business the best money based on demand and product variation]. Instead of releasing only one magical white box that had 18 spots on a shelf, they released two versions with 18 spots each for the magical grand total of 36. Yeah, thanks guys.
So before everyone goes Vista bashing, calm down a moment. Out of the box, it’s a trippy mess that’s so tangled in its own junk it has no idea which way is actually up. It requires a little patience and some tricks to get it to work.
Issue 1: Would you like this program to continue?
Okay, so in UNIX Land (that’s Linux and Mac OS) the machine is built on a system that has an innate permissions structure. Every file has read write and execute permissions for three levels: user, group, and all. The highest user in the system is the one named Root. Inputting the password and login of Mr. Root will permit you to do everything short of bake a cake. What this boils down to in the world of graphic interfaces is every so often you try to install something or change a system setting and it goes “FOOL! Enter a password!” to make sure that you are actually you and not some punk kid sitting at your computer when you went to get a soda. It’s also effectively a “are you sure you want to do this and potentially frag your entire system?” step, and much less absent minded than clicking an OK button.
Okay, great, that works fine. Microsoft said “HEY! We wants that!” and tried to implement security measure 300041, the windows Defender and Vista’s permissions tree. Only one problem. The NT kernel doesn’t do permissions. In NTFS, files are not assigned an owner, and the system doesn’t strain the file structure with queries as to whether this user has permission to edit this file. This is because Windows was designed from DOS originally, an operating system designed for single user practices. In the day, when a system engineer wanted to make a computer with multiple secure log-ons, he used UNIX. But no, Windows wanted a piece of this pie and so now you get bothered every three steps by this stupid button that doesn’t even ask you to enter a password and is a little more rabid than the Mac or Linux password boxes.
However, this can be fixed by going to the cmd prompt (opened with admin rights) and entering the line net user administrator /active:yes which turns on the Root equivalent. You then have to go to the users pane and reset his password so you can log in as the administrator. This account is above your typical admin users and not bothered by any of this because every time it executes something, it’s the same as running the app as an administrator from the right click menu. He also has some other elevated permissions. Technically, this makes him also a security risk. This is why you don’t use this profile with SSH and make sure you lock your laptop’s interface when you go get that cup of coffee so this doesn’t freaking happen.
Issue 2: User Account Control- Tactfully named the UAC, I decided to go Doom’s route and pull the United Aerospace Corporation out of my computer as I don’t need Satan popping out of my laptop when it tries teleporter experiments. This is another badly-executed UNIX permissions clone that locks down other user accounts’ home folders. Having no other users on my computer, it actually didn’t make any difference because there weren’t other folders in C:\Users that I needed to get to on this laptop, but on the tower it was quite handy.
Again, if it wasn’t designed to do something, don’t do it!
Next on the plate is the system resources game. People tell me that Vista runs slow. Few reasons here.
You installed Vista on an XP machine. To date, the only computers I’ve seen that actually ran Vista well were ones that were designed for it. Not ones with that stupid “Vista compatible” sticker. Upgrading them is a sure sign of pain. Short story long, XP machines are from an era when having 4 GB of RAM was rare and mostly unnecessary because XP only needs about 256 MB when it’s really rocking. Vista, on the other hand, likes almost a full GB to run itself. Some people call this annoying. I blame things like “file indexing,” which is supposed to speed up the search function.
But here’s something too. File indexing is a Mac Spotlight clone. Find anything instantly. Great, when the computer has spare CPU cycles and some extra RAM to write the index file constantly in the background. But also, it can be turned off. Control Panel > Services, find file indexing, and shut it down. Done.
Windows Aero: Okay, it looks nice. Ubuntu has X11, Gnome, and Compiz that makes it look nice. Mac OS looks nice on its own. If you don’t want it to look nice, turn it off. It is a little annoying that Aero is so freaking bit hungry that it can stall out slower computers, but on computers with a dedicated graphics card to help out, it’s not generally a problem. I personally like that it looks nice. No, I never use that stupid cascade featurette, the damn expose clone. I noticed many years ago when trying to add expose-like add-ons to XP that windows has one thing that makes expose and the aero flip obsolete, and has since windows 95: The Taskbar. Oh look, a place where I can recall any window open in the environment. Mac doesn’t have one. You have to play with expose or alt-tab. Pity.
Also, slight gripe about Mac OS. What’s the deal about having the menus permanently affixed to the top of a primary monitor? Now I have the move the mouse cursor really far to open a program menu, and god help me if I’m running two monitors and have to go back to the primary monitor for the menus for a program open on the secondary one.
The “User Intuitive Control Panel” Okay, you’ve got me here. The control panel is the work of the devil. You open the Power Prefs pane looking to change something specific like what the computer does when you close the screen, and you have to navigate through two keystrokes in random ass hyperlink-style buttons to first a second pane, and then a third. And what’s with all the dead space in these panes? They’re completely inefficient. I want my checkbox lists and drop down fields back. The network diagnostics are sort of annoying too. I liked being able to look at a window with all of my network connections, past and present, instead of a window that says “you’re connected to the internet here’s a map” though that map can be awful nice, as is the field of switches to turn on and off the various network services. Points there.
And this is all in “classic view.” Oh, I hate the catagories view. I learned where everything was in the old operating system, which has been that way for several incarnations. Actually, since windows 95, pretty much. Don’t hide my functionality behind ease of use.
But in traditional fashion, if it doesn’t work for me, don’t use it. I stopped using windows Vista on computers that struggled with it, and this does happen, and laterally upgraded to Ubuntu, which provides the basics and straightforward useability, with some minor setbacks in the hacking and reprogramming realm. But once you get Ubuntu set up, it runs beautifully, and it isn’t attacked at every other turn by some Russian brain-child’s idea of a good time (some people just thrive on chaos and the pain of others. I personnally thrive on the well-being of others. Happy people make me happier). And personnally, I blame the hardware manufacturers more than Vista. It’s not Vistas responsibility to work with everything its plugged into; that job is for those who write the drivers for the hardware that tells vista how to use it. For example, if you had never ever seen a hammer before and picked it up, and the only instruction in the book was to put your head between it and the nail and bash repeatedly, you would be either very confused or quite hurt. And computer programs, unlike us, lack this thing called Deduction. We can look at a 7 step process, realize what the end result should be, what the tools are, and usually derrive a method of getting there without all the tools and steps that were originally provided. Computers do exactly what you tell them to, and if that’s to put itself between the hammer and the nail, then you should start shopping for a new computer.